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GROWING UP WITH GOD - GUYS

Hey dude -

You'll be feeling many strange and perhaps bewildering changes in your teen years. In all areas, physical, mental, social, and spiritual, there will be new happenings and problems. Life will be kind of UNPREDICTABLE - up and down! You'll change a lot. That's why it's so important to know Christ as a teenager. You'll face the same problems as others. They will be just as tough, if not tougher. But trusting the Captain of Salvation, you won't face them alone.

Between the ages of roughly 13-15 you'll be GROWING. It will be hard for you here! You will mature slower than girls your same age. This brings its own special problems.

PHYSICAL: During these "grow" years, you will do just that — grow! Your arms and legs will shoot out like bean poles. You'll drive your parents nuts trying to keep you in clothes that fit for more than a few months, as you outsprout everything. You will sometimes feel weird because you will look funny.

Your body will grow out, but it won't have any real muscle or great strength yet. It will be hard to control, and things won't always go quite the way you want them to. Because you are learning to get it all together in your body, you will probably be clumsy: Breaking dishes, tripping over things, bashing into any object slightly smaller than a medium-sized elephant. Your parents may encourage you in these experiments with coordination that will help you feel a bigger idiot than you actually are. Your VOICE will bother you to no end. Suddenly it will freak-out on you. Once you had a nice tenor squeak; one day, right in the middle of talking to someone you want to impress, it will suddenly self-destruct into a low bass growl. But it's all a natural part of growing up. Don't let it bug you too much.

MENTAL: Here's the time to 'soak up" as much as you can. Now, your mind may be not exactly rapt about your studies in school. You will often find it hard to see any use for what you are learning here, but it is the best time to study. Take my word for it; what you store in your head now will suddenly make you feel like a genius in just a few more years. Now you will frustrate all kinds of people at home, at church, and at school because you don't stay interested in any one thing for long. You'll be turned on to a lot of different things — cars, hobbies, secret gangs, martial arts, card-collecting -- then, just like that, lose interest.

Change is the name of your game; you get really excited about one thing, and then within a couple of weeks it has worn off and you try something else. This is frustrating for your parents and your youth pastor, but it's good for you. You are learning an interest in a lot of things; some of your interests will be just passing fads, but others may develop and grow into a serious part of your life. You're learning what you like to do in life, and what God has on His heart for you.

SOCIAL: You'll probably prefer the company of guys. You will begin to like girls here, but more or less at a distance. You just feel so weird and awkward right now, that when you try to talk to a girl you feel like Charlie Brown. Girls can be really cruel right now, giggling at your squeaky voice and awkward looks. So for these years, girls won't outwardly interest you too much. That's fine. That's the way God planned it. The pressure to date, to explore the secrets of the other sex, to get looped forever into someone's life you never meant to even begin with, has badly sidetracked a lot of guys lives. You don't need the hassle. You'll prefer your own gang of guys who share your interests. Make sure your closest friends are God's friends too.

You will be tempted to try out a lot of bad trips here: experiments with drink, drugs, masturbation, dirty books, violence, and stealing. Be careful. What you learn here may deeply affect your future. Stay close to God. Don't let the crowd push you into a mold that Jesus cannot honor. They'll say "Doesn't everyone?" The right answer is "No. I don't need the pain. I pass." Be a leader by sticking up for God's laws and His honor. Give your friends a solid example of being clean without being uncool.

SPIRITUAL: You'll be looking for answers - real answers. During this time, you may have a lot of doubts about the Bible, God and Christian things. This is a hard time for you. You will probably be strongly tempted to just push Bible study and prayer into a small corner of your life because there are so many other things you want to do. You'll think about Christian things every time you see God do something marvelous, but your spiritual life will be affected by the same plague of "change" that the rest of your life is going through during these years. Because your awkward feelings will be a hassle to you, you will wonder sometimes if you are really a Christian; if God really does exist; and if He can answer prayer.
Don't be afraid of doubts, provided they are honest doubts. You may just bury them under a load of new things to do, and push yourself more into what you are trying out lately as your latest interest rather than think about them. But remember: God loves you; He understands you; and He cares for you. He knows the way you feel now. He is watching you, talking to you in a dozen quiet ways, saying, "My son, give me your heart." Learn it now; God wants to be a real Dad to you. Let Him.

Round about 16-18, STAGE TWO will creep up on you overnight until one fine morning — crunch! You'll realize you are more a man than a kid -- it's REORGANIZATION time!

PHYSICAL: Now your body actually does what you tell it to, with no unexpected side effects; you have added some weight and hopefully some muscle. You no longer behave like a one-day-old giraffe on stilts. Mom's china is experiencing months of relative safety from your destructive slips and trips of the past. You will have begun also to experience some important sexual changes as God awakens your sexual drives. You will begin to grow hair on your body, and have tried your first shave (after first carefully cultivating your first beard and mustache). You will try to avoid as many cuts and nicks as possible so that you can seem to be an expert; but your zits get in the way, and you may have a few accidents and go bleeding bravely to school.

By now you may have experienced some mornings when you find you wake up having wet your pajamas or sheets in a different way than when you were a little kid! Don't be alarmed; this is just God's special built-in release for the sexual pressure that your developing sexual drive generates. It will trigger every now and then, usually when you are dreaming, lying on your back. It is like the safety-valve in a pressure cooker that will save you from the temptation to masturbate (to trigger your own sexual function by stimulating your sexual organs yourself). Keep your mind pure and your thoughts clean; they will help you to keep a strong and energetic body. These are the sports years for those of you who are athletic. Your body is so together now that you can break records on court, field, and track. Go for it! Learn to use your skill and strength in physical disciplines for the glory of God.

MENTAL: Suddenly you'll be able to USE all that stuff you have been learning (hopefully) for the last three or four years! You will realize that you are really brilliant — a true genius, and you won't understand how it is that your parents could be so dumb on some things. Of course, you will want to show them how to do everything. You are convinced your newfound, superior knowledge can save them time, energy, and also impress them to no end. Hopefully, they will go along with you somewhat. Still, it may be frustrating for your Dad to have you show him the way to drive or fix his car, or for Mom to find you attempting to rewire her mixer for greater power. Be patient with them. When you are their age, you'll know what it is like; and it may surprise you in a few years just how much they did know all along. Let the Lord be "Boss" of your study life. Let Him use your best subjects to make you "shine" for Him in class. Perhaps He can take you to the top for His glory. You can help others in your class who don't have what you do. It may lead to chances for witness.

SOCIAL: Suddenly you'll realize that there are girls everywhere! These can be wonderfully happy years in learning to show affection and friendship so long as Jesus is in control. Girls your age are interested in you now; you are, after all, looking more like a man every day. That creature next door you used to chase to pull her hair has suddenly turned into a demure, beautiful woman. You may get suddenly into poetry and music; now YOU are the one who is interested, and that girl who was always wanting to talk to you now has turned shy. Friendships with girls can begin a little awkwardly, but with Jesus help may end with you both actually enjoying yourselves.

You may wonder about what a godly girl expects from such a companionship; let me tell you. She expects you to take care of her purity of affection, to treat her with respect and honor, to be someone who is genuinely nice and fun to be with. She will not usually mind being treated like a princess, and the guy who learns to do this will not lack girl friends! But guard her affection and your heart. Don't let any developing close companionship degenerate into ugly exclusiveness, familiarity and then immorality. Keep all your friendships light and fun. Learn to mix with many different brothers and sisters during these years. The pattern of dating and break-up in our society is what sets the stage for marriage breakup later on. Don't start "dating" any one special girl, or it will put pressure on both of your lives that could cause problems and possible real hurt for you and her later. Give your love first to Christ; then let Him make you a man of God who knows how to lead any girl or other guy he knows closer to Jesus. That's the Bible way of happiness, friendship and peace of mind.

SPIRITUAL: Many of the guys you know are more or less skeptical about spiritual things. Some have begun to experiment with drugs; they are being pulled away from God and into the mystic and occult worlds. You will hear various Eastern or New Age religious trips pushed around. Fooling with seances, ouija boards, advanced spiritual power techniques in martial arts or even forms of Satanism will be common. These are all bad news; stay clear of them. You'll need a lot of real answers now, and you will be excited to find out that the Bible does not ask of us "blind faith." We are to "study to show ourselves approved to God."( 2 Tim. 2:15) He will give you firm and clear foundations to stand on. He will give you a "wall to lean on that doesn't move."

A lot of your friends will make bad mistakes now; the man-centered ideas they gave themselves to will bring only emptiness, guilt, and bad trips. "Anything you do is right, as long as it feels good" will be the going philosophy. "Do your own thing as long as you don't hurt anyone" is another. This is of course true, and even a basic commandment of the Bible — PROVIDED no one hurts God or any of His love creation in their doing their "own thing. Stay clear of things that will trap and enslave you. You can't even do your own thing if your thing is doing you. Follow God's way with your whole heart. This is the time to really get your head and heart straight with God; this is the time to declare your independence from the hip crowd that is traveling hell-ward. Choices you make NOW will deeply affect your life and help shape your destiny. A solid, intelligent commitment to the Lord Jesus now may save your wholesomeness, your dreams, your future friendships, marriage, and ministry. Do it dude, and do it with your whole heart.

Finally, you're on the last rung where you'll be moving out of your teenage years and into the adult future. Here are the times where you will finalize your life choices and decide things that will take the rest of your life to live out. From 19-24 is stage THREE - EXPANSION time. Here you learn to be BETTER at what you decide to do.

PHYSICAL: Your body will be mature. If you've liked sports, you'll be really advancing in it. You will have added some "steel" to those early layers of muscle, with the proper discipline and exercise. You may be becoming a leader with Christ in control. You're on your way to taking a place in the adult world of men, ready to carve your own personal notch in the destiny of this planet. You've made it so far — congratulations! The next years ahead will be important to you in terms of study. They are the best years to learn in. Your head will be together; you are beginning to understand the world around you, and more than that, you know that you can actually change it. So give yourself to discipline, to training, to study during these years.

Let God harness your sexual drives and channel them into a constructive energy for change. Don't waste time on foolish or harmful sidetracks that can rob you of these critical study years. Between 20-25 are the best years to learn for a man. Here you will have the most awake and flexible approaches to decide how you are going to do what you feel you want to do. It will be best for you to still postpone any serious thought about engagement or marriage until you have had time to give yourself to the work of preparing for the future. The best years for a guy to marry are between 25-30; by then, he has had some time to put his patterns together for the future, and he can use these years for added practical experience in his work. Don't get tied down to some nice girl even if you really care about each other just because others your age have, before you have had time to invest in both of your futures.
Never get married without a sure and clear word from God that both your pastor and parents support. And don't rule out the possibility of a creative single life. God sometimes has tasks that require a special man with unique gifts and abilities to serve him in a single ministry, especially if the task involves risk and danger in opening a new field for God and humanity.

MENTAL: Those high school friends of yours who never came over to God's side are almost all completely skeptical, or totally hung up in some other pursued path. You will have by now pretty much decided what you want to do with the rest of your life, or are right now in the throes of "knowing God's will." Make your choices wisely; guard your mind from the poisons of vain philosophies, materialist fantasies and humanistic ethics. In the pages of God's Word, you will learn as much about freedom, love, meaning, truth, and value as you can intelligently handle, and more. Give yourself to the work of honoring God with your study life. "In understanding, be men." (I Cor. 14:20)

SOCIAL: Here, your task before God will have competition from other pressures, like those of marriage, and possibly, competing job opportunities. Remember that all the time you give to these pressures will rob time from these critical development years. Discipline your life to put top priorities first. Do what God says first. Learn to relax in His love and to take your responsibilities with a smile.

By now, Christian outreaches that you were into in your early teenage years will be either specialized or curtailed; you will begin to learn how to bring the love of God into ordinary everyday life at school, or at work, or on the street. These are also years when you can build lifelong, lasting friendships, and cement relationships. Your interests will be narrower, your talents more specialized. You will be outwardly more calm and stable; although every now and then you will have flashbacks to those early uncomfortable years of trying to find yourself when you are put in a new and strange situation.

SPIRITUAL: Many of your unsaved friends will have begun to get hard, bitter, and very disillusioned about life's apparent emptiness. Some will have gone into hedonism trying out the playboy philosophy for the empty, sensual thing it is; others will have hit the streets in mystical or violent trips. Some will have sacrificed their lives on the altar of education or business; others will have been locked into a system within which they feel like a helpless pawn because they did not have the direction that Jesus could have given them.

It will be hard to reach young men here, but God is in the work of total change, and nothing is too hard for Him. You be available. Be a source of liberation, of wisdom from above, of quiet, practical, and dynamic leadership. Give yourself to the task of becoming a man of God in whatever calling God gives you. Be a friend with compassion and sympathy. Be a man who knows what true values are because he has listened to heaven; a man who knows where he is going because he is following the Light of the World; a man who speaks with authority and power because he knows Him Who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Ahead is your future and Earth's future. Walk into it unafraid because your Lord and Leader has already gone before you. Growing up with God can give you years you will remember with thankfulness and joy. Build memories you can carry with gratitude into the future. Don't be afraid to wholly TRUST Him. Give yourself to Him as a child puts himself in the strong arms of a loving Dad. Learn to know the beauty and simplicity in being a servant of the King of Kings. Let the whole world know that you are "one of THEM" — that you belong out-and-out to God, body, soul, and spirit. Take the reins of your world with the courage of the committed.






GROWING UP WITH GOD - GIRLS

Hi girls -

You'll be feeling many strange and perhaps bewildering changes in your teen years. In all of the Daniel Files areas -- physical, social, mental, and spiritual, technological, cultural, and political areas there will be new happenings and problems. Life will be kind of UNPREDICTABLE — up and down! You'll change a lot.

That's why it's so important to know Christ as a teenager. You will face the same problems as others, just as tough, if not tougher — but with your hand in His, you won't face them alone.

Between the ages of roughly 13-15 you'll be GROWING. It will be hard for you here! You will mature faster than guys your same age. Your body at twelve is already as mature physically as a girl of 17 at the start of this century. You have pressure to grow up long before you are ready for it. This brings its own special problems.

PHYSICAL: Your body will blossom out into young womanhood. There will be new clothes to try and buy as you develop. There will be new problems too, as you experience for the first time the special problems of becoming a woman. You'll begin to menstruate, that periodic monthly flow of blood that signals that God has given you the gift of becoming a mother. Your breasts will begin to develop, and with these sexual changes, your body will become alive to new stirrings of romance and love. This is beautiful, but you must be careful with your feelings. They are so much a part of your body at this time that they will be very easily stirred up romantically. Ride it out, dear one! Protect your body from being stirred into sexual passion, just as you would not try to force a rosebud open before it has had time to become a rose. All girls feel as strange as you do during these years. Don't let these big changes hassle you.

MENTAL: Here's the time to "soak up" as much as you can. Now your mind may not be too much on studies at school. You find it hard to see any use for what you are learning here, but it's the best time to find out things. Don't fill your mind with Beverly Hills 90210-type love stories, videos and movies. I know how much this will clamor to take a big place on your life. Live in balance, by living in Jesus' love.

You will frustrate people because you don't stay interested in one thing for very long, "Change" is the name of your game; you get really excited about one thing, but within a week it has worn off and you are on some new trip. You change boy friends like clothes. Be careful of your emotions. They will change suddenly sometimes without warning. Don't get disturbed by bad-hair days or "rainy-day Mondays." They get all girls your age down. You'll feel on top of the world one day, the next, so low you have to reach up to touch bottom. Remember: Your body is going through some rough changes; you are unfortunately connected with it! These feelings are natural; they will level off soon.

SOCIAL: Beware! Having changing feelings; being incurably romantic; and having a woman's body with a teenager's mind all spell "temptation" in the social area. You'll be interested in guys, but the ones your age will mostly seem like babies thanks to your faster physical maturity. Naturally, since they seem only interested in sports, in cars and gangs, you will probably feel attracted to guys who are probably older than you by at least three or four years. You may fall desperately in love with your English or history teacher because he smiled at you one day. Can you see the danger? Unless your affections are really controlled by Jesus, there is danger -- real danger — of giving into your rocketing romantic feelings and getting into trouble.

Young love can be wonderful fun, even though it only lasts a little while (though you dream of it lasting forever and can't imagine ever loving anyone else than the boy who JUST SAID "Hello" to you — until next week!) The pain and joy of learning to win someone's interest and affection can teach you a lot about life. But let Jesus stay in control. He will always be there to guard you like a Big Brother who loves you and wants to keep you from hurt. Watch your associations. guard your sexual purity; don't buy the current ideas of loose living; you have time to watch how they work out in the private hells of those who lost the great debate, wound up disgraced, shamed and alone.

SPIRITUAL - You'll be looking for answers — real answers. At this time, you will have a lot of doubts about God, the Bible, and Christian things. This is a hard time for you. You feel like a woman, but you may still be treated like a child. Because you will have real hassles with your feelings, you will wonder sometimes if you really are a Christian; if God really does exist; if He really does answer prayer and if you can really be sure of spiritual things.

Don't be afraid of having doubts. God doesn't mind you asking questions, as long as you are really willing to find answers from Him. Spend a lot of time in prayer and reading your Bible. The Devil will try keep you away from God's Word because you will find the answers to so many of your questions there. As you learn think for yourself and to make your own decisions, you will need His steady hand to help you through the rough places. Learn to lean on His love. He will bring you through the difficult years with happiness.

Round about 16-18, stage TWO will creep up on you overnight until one morning — Crunch! You will realize you are "sweet sixteen" and it's time to REORGANIZE YOUR LIFE.

PHYSICAL: Your body will already be fully developed by now. You will have gotten used to its problems and had some time to learn to control it. These are the years for those you who are athletic to really shine. You will find your body is so together that you can break records on court, field, and track. Go to it! Learn to use your skill and poise in physical disciplines for the glory of God.

MENTAL: Suddenly you'll be able to USE all that stuff you learned the last three or four years. Those of you girls who are more academic will really shine now; maybe you'll be your class "brain" (although of course, you'll be very modest about it and not use it to make all your boy friends feel like Charlie Brown). You will be learning more than girls your age did ten years ago; far more things than most of your parents ever knew about at this age. You will be put under pressure to worship at the shrine of education; don't let it become a god in your life. Let God be "Boss" of your study life. He can use your mind to take you to the top for His glory; you may too be able to help others in your class who don't have as many answers as you do
SOCIAL: Guys your age ARE interested in you now - VERY! These years are beautiful, and you can make many lovely (though sometimes fragile) friendships. You may go through a "hard-to-get" period around now; guys will feel awkward in talking to you, and you will lose some of that giggly, "overly excited" attitude you had before and become a demure, mysterious woman. You may have a lot of attention from guys and that's good -. you will be learning to handle friendship and affection with others. But keep close to God and nothing remotely serious yet; keep it light and learn to mix with many different brothers and sisters.

SPIRITUAL:- Some of the girls you know are probably pretty skeptical about spiritual things. You'll need a lot more answers, But you will be excited to find that the Bible does not ask "blind" faith of us. We should "study to show ourselves approved to God." He will give you some real foundations to stand on. Many of your friends who are living without Jesus will now find that the sandy grounds of human ideas which they once took refuge in are starting to sink underneath them.

By now, a lot of your friends will have made some bad mistakes; some won't have learned from them. "Anything is OK as long as it feels good" — this will be a common idea in the crowd. This is the time to really get squared away with God; to get both you head and heart straight. The choices you make now will deeply affect your life and help shape your destiny under God. A solid and intelligent commitment to the Lord Jesus now may save your wholeness, your dreams, your future friendships, marriage, and ministry. Do it, and do it with your whole heart.

Finally, you make it to the last rung where you'll be making many of your final important decisions. These will be choices that will take the rest of your life to live out. From 19-24 is EXPANSION time. During these years you will learn to be better at what you have already decided to do with your life.

PHYSICAL.: Your body is fully mature; you know its capacities and its capabilities. You are beginning to understand your moods and feelings in relationship to your own personal chemistry from week to week. Girls, you are women now; young adults, ready to face the shining, scary, troubled, and beautiful world around you. Congratulations! The next years to come can often be years in which God brings to you some guy to share your life and love; between about 20-25 are the years when most girls marry, although with many now it's a little later. Make it a point not to marry before you are at least in your twenties; enjoy your single womanhood, and leave your marriage in the hands of God.

Don't worry if you aren't proposed to on your nineteenth birthday; and don't rule out the possibility of a creative single life. Although it is often God's will for girls your age to marry, sometimes He has tasks that require a special woman with unique gifts and abilities to serve Him in a single ministry. Relax in the hands of your loving Father in heaven and know that His whole heart is set on making you the happiest, holiest woman He can. And if you aren't sure which calling is to be yours, stay single until God clearly says otherwise. It's better to be single wishing you were married, than married wishing you weren't!

MENTAL: Those high school friends of yours who never came over to God's side are almost all skeptical, completely skeptical. A few may have cast their lost in with some edge group to give them a vehicle for their hurt and their rejection of Biblical morality. You will have probably decided what you are going to do for the Lord; all your learning now will be centered on carrying out that goal. Make your choices wisely; guard your mind and heart from vain philosophies and humanistic ethics. In the pages of God Word, you will find out as much about freedom, love, belonging, and truth as you can diligently handle.

SOCIAL: Here, in His will, God may lead you to your life-partner, God's man for your life. Sooner or later, you may begin a home, and a family. Some of your earlier outreach activities for Christ will be either specialized or curtailed. These years will be those that build lifelong friendships, years to cement lasting relationships.

SPIRITUAL: Many of your unsaved friends will be hard, bitter, and disillusioned by life's apparent emptiness. Some will have been used by the men or women to whom they gave themselves, hoping for some taste of real love and affection; they may be deeply bitter, and may conceal their anger by flattery or even prostitution. Some will have become pregnant, given up their babies, or aborted them; others will have felt pushed into marriages they had to go through with because they got so far in they couldn't back out. But God is in the work of reshaping the hardest lives.

When woman gets hurt, she hurts more deeply than most men of her age and similar experiences. It can make her very hard. But the same Lord Jesus Who spoke to the used woman at the well can speak to women today and restore joy and liberation to their hearts and lives. You must be available. You be a friend who is ready and sympathetic, quick to show compassion and care. God can use you and wants to do so. There is such a needy world around you. Ahead of you lies your whole future and, with that future, part of Earth's destiny. Walk with love and faith into it, and know that Jesus has gone before you to make the rough places smooth before your feet.

Growing up with God can give you years which you can look back to in thankfulness and joy. Have many memories of lovely things and beautiful happenings you can carry with you into the future with Jesus! Don't be afraid to WHOLLY TRUST Him. Give yourself to Him with the same commitment and devotion would give the man she chooses to be her husband, lover, and the father of her children. Let the whole world know that you belong to Him; body. soul, and spirit.

Be a WOMAN of God in the way you look, dress, speak, and live. Be a real 1 Timothy 4:12 person. And girls - God bless you. The WORLD is yours, for you and God to share together.